Thursday, June 21, 2012

තවත් එක් නොකී කතාවක්...

මේ අපේ කනිෂ්ක හේරත් සොයුරාගේ ලොවට​ නොකී,හැඟුම් බර ඇත්ත කතාව.තවත් මේ වගේ කතා කීයක් ලොවට හොරෙන් අපි අතරම සැඟවී ඇත්ද​?

මෙන්න ඒ සත්‍යය කතාව ඔහුගේම වචන වලින්.

"I had a gay love for six years when i was in campus. He wanted to marry. I allowed. He wanted me to be his bestman. I did it. But can you imagine how difficult it was for me to spend time as bestman on his wedding day. I cried loudly inside the toilet of the hotel. No one was there to share my pain. I felt as the whole... world was in fire. Later, i also married, but never met him thereafter...........
The day before his wedding day i went to his place in gampaha. Everyone was busy, getting ready for the wedding. I was in a dreamy world, no hunger, no thirst and no sense of the sorounding at all. Every minute every second my heart got burnt with the sense of my boyfriends departure on the following day. In the evening we two went to the temple, no single word exchanged between us. Both are in deep sorrow and burning in pain. How many words., how many stories, how many laughs, how many cries have been exchanged between us during past six years, but now.. ...., only silent exchanges burnig in pain......, In the temple we did nothig, but crying hugged each other... no feeling who saw us, we never worried of that. Only tried to get the last smell of our six years love............, around 8pm we reached home and i went to the bed without having any dinner.
I was given a room to be shared with his brother. Sleep never came to me. I remembered everything, whole six years love as a romantic film...., no one to tell these , i only had to make silent tears as his brother could hear. I felt if i could stop the next day dawn, but i failed. Late in night, without knowing to me , i had gone to sleep. arly in the morning i felt some one slowly opening the door. I kept still and silent. Soon i felt the sweet smell of him, he gave me the last kiss of our lives.

Wedding was in biyagama village hotel. In the hotel i felt as i was in fire. I ran to the toilet of the hotel and cried loudly. I tried my maximum to avoid my eyes with him. Every time i saw him he was keeping his eyes at me. When he was close leave for honeymoon , i felt my heart was going to burst. Luckily one friend of both of us felt this. He came to me and asked whether i want to leave. I said yes. Without telling anyone we left the hotel from the rear gate
In the car i did nothing but crying. He stooped the car infront of gampaha station. There was one hour more for the train. He asked me whether i want to drink. I said no. Everything started to film in my mind. How we did shopping in gampaha town, how we wathched films, how we walked in the railway hands in hand, how we bathed in the ketawela anicut in weekends... every thing. I felt i fell from pan to fire. Luckily the train came and in a dreamy world i got into the train. My friend was waiting till the train disappeared.
Close to midnight i reached home. Still i dont have a clear memmory of those days. Later i also married. I was much brighter than him when we were in campus and i got through the final exam with a class. But now........, my friend and his wife are both consultants and my self being the suffered is still spending my life with the suffered of this country in a remote area in --------------- zone.
What i have to tell at the end is, not to involve in gay love. It will only bring sorrow to your life. But having a good gay friendship will be much benificial to your life As you can share all your feelings with yoUr gay friend, nothing to hide and sex........... mmmmmmmmmmmmm its upon you to decide. may be....... i mean.................................."




කනිෂ්ක සොයුරානම් කියන්නේ ආදරය එපා කියලයි.ඒත් ආදරය අපි බලෙන් ඇති කර ගන්න දෙයක් නෙවෙයි නේද​. ඉතින් ආදරය ඇතිවෙන එක අපිට නවත්තන්න පුලුවන්ද?


11 comments:

  1. ඉතාම වේදනාබර කතාවක්. ආදරය යනු හදවත් දෙකක ඇතිවන සුමිහිරි හැගීමක්. එහි ගැහැණු පිරිමි, පිරිමි පිරිමි හෝ ගැහැණු ගැහැණු ලෙස වෙනසක් නැහැ. නමුත් සැබවනම් මෙම කලාපයේ එය ඉතාම සංවේගී තත්වයක්. ඒ අපි ආදරය කරන අය සමග අපට එක්ව ජීවත්වීමට ඇති නීතිමය සහ සංස්කෘතික බලපෑම. සබැ ලෙසම මෙවැනි දුක්බර කතා බොහොමයක් තවත් මේ රට තුල තිබෙනවා. මමත් ඉන් එක් අයෙක්. නමුත් ඒ හැමදෙයක්ම හිත තුල සිරවී වේදනා දෙමින් හැමදාම තිබෙනවා. කිසිවෙකුටක් කියාගත නොහැකිව හෝ අකමැතිව. මගේ ජීවිතය විසාල වෙනසක් කල ඒ ආදරය අද මගේ හිතතුල පමණක් සිරවී තිබෙනවා. මම එක රටක. ඔහු තවත් රටක. අපි දෙදෙනාම තවම තනිකමින් පෙළෙනවා. ඔහුගෙන් එදහිට ලැබෙන පණිවිඩයකින් පවා අදටත් ඔහු කියන්නේ එදා ඔහු මා ගැන අවංක සහ එඩිතර තීරණයක් ගත්තනම් අද අපි දෙන්න සතුටින් ජීවත් වෙන බව. එහෙම පසුතැවෙන ඔහු මගෙන් සමාව ඉල්ලනවා . එත් අදටත් ඔහුගේවත් මගේවත් ජීවිත එට වඩා සාර්ථක වෙලා නැහැ. සාමාන්‍ය ලෙස ගෙවිල යනවා. නමුත් මගේ හිත තවමත් ආදරය නිසා දුක්වෙනවා. මගේ ජීවිතය පසුපස ඇති අපේ කතාව හරිම අපුරු එකක්. අද මට හිතෙනවා මම එහෙම ජීවිතයක් ගෙව්වද කියලත්. දුක සැප සතුට ආදරය හැමදෙයක්ම එකේ ලියවෙලා තියනවා. කදුලත් දුකත් අවසන් චේදය වෙලා නතරවෙලා. එදිරිය කොහොම ලියවේවිද කියල හිතන්න බැහැ. නමුත් මම කිසිම කෙනෙකුට වෛර කරන්නේ නැහැ.නැවතත් මට ඔහුව මුණගැසුනොත්. මගේ මුළු වේදනාවම කදුලින් දියකර හරින්න පුළුවන් වේවි. එත් මේ තනිකම මමත් එක්ක හැමදාමත් ඉදීවි.

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    Replies
    1. ඇත්තටම හුඟක් ස්තුති යි සහෝ comment එකට​.
      පුළුවන් කමක් තියේ නම් ඔයාගේ කතාව අපිත් එක්ක බෙදා ගන්න​.එයින් අපෙන් පස්සේ එන අයට වත් හොඳ ලෝකයක් තනන්න යන්තම් හරි උපකාරයක් වෙවි.

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    2. aswalata kadulu awa meka kiyawala...math ada mage x wa aurudu 8kata passe munagahune ada..with his wife.. mata danuna dukama me tharam lassanata adama mata dakinna labuna me post eke..Lokaya kiyanne hari pudumakara thanak.. minissu apiwa therum ganne natte ayi? ammala thathtala nadayo apiwa therum ganne natte ayi? Samajaya apiwa therum gattanam adatath man sathutin inne..

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    3. Thanks for the comment Saho.
      Me kramaya lankawe kawada wenas weida kiyala hitannawath amarui.
      Pena widiyata hungak aya mekata muhuna pala thiyenawa wage.

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  2. Harima duka kathaawak.HUnga denek hithin wedanaa windinawa kiyala mata hithenawa.

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  3. Really sensitive story, I'm so sorry, wish there would be a well developed Sri Lanka, not by making the buildings & roads but with EQUALITY and HUMINITY!
    Love is love!

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  4. Monawa karannada. Oya haa samanawama mamath ada Adaraya nisaa duk vidina kenek. ea mage Adaraya Rekawaranaya Senehasa Jevithaya mee hama deema "Viwahaya" kiyana dee nisa mata nathi wenawa. eka nathiwenna thawa masa kihipayai tiyenne. Mage mulu jeevithema mn kapakarala puduma vidiyata fight karala mage Adaraya rekagaththaa. eath ohuta eya rekaganna bari unaaa. ohu lagadiam dawasaka viwaha jeevithayata elebei. mn kawadakawath elesa viwaaha wen nee. steirai. Duka Wedanawa Tanikama daragena jeevath wenawa. Aththa "Adaraya" nam karanna epa eya dukak vitaramai.

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  5. mamath oya widiyatama duk winda kenek hebei eyata ona une nehe kawadakawath mari karanna but eyage Amma nisa mamai bala kale eyata mari karanna anthimata matah una eyage best man vidiyata inna eda eyala honeymoon yana welawe mama wash room gihin anadapu taram eth mama adath pasutevili wenawa eyata mari karanna kiyal bala karala api dennagema jeevitha walata maha dukaka dunna kiyala ada wagenam mama keeyatawath mama mage ayya mage aadre netikaraganne nehe. " monawa karannadaane rattaran api den vivaha wela"

    mama Thush

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  6. Thanks for your comments Thsh and Gay kolloo,

    Eka aththatama harima kanagatu dayaka deyak.
    Ape sathutu jeewitha okkoma me vivahaya kiyana samaja bendimak hinda hungak ayata nethi kara ganna wenawa.Samaharawita eeta passe mulu jeewitha kalema thaman akamathi bendimakin hira wela jeewath wenna wei.
    Mekata wisaduma mokak weida?
    Eththatama eka loku ubhathokotika prashnayak.
    ehema neda yaluwane...

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